The day the Equestrians met the 3rd Street Saints
by puertoroqueanboy1992
Summary: It has been 2 years after the boss has defeated the zin empire and conquered the entire universe so obviously the boss in f*****ng bored so he decides (after Matt Miller has invented the tv portal) that he would teach all the ponies in equetria that theres no sutch thing as a happy ending for peaple that respect the law. Will the boss get what he wants? find out here!
1. Chapter 1

**The Day Equestrians Met The 3****rd**** Street Saints**

Chapter 1: New Territory to Conquer!

It was just another day for the King of the Universe, "The Boss" as everyone knew him was smoking some loa dust with Johnny Gat and Shaundy while Pierce… Well who the hell gives a fuck 'bout Pierce… Anyway the boss was so fucking bored (since he did that shit every day for the past 2 years after defeating Zinyak and conquered the last opposing planet in the universe) so he decided to leave the room while he was still not high to watch some tv.

"Avengers asem…" "Seen it" said the bored man with a latino accent (yes he is latino in my story) "Luke im your fat…" "gay!" said the boss in a annoyed way while he changed the channel. So went the channel surfing and the result was the same he has seen it all, even the porn channel that the zin made that showed gross ass stuff that only a class A+ perv would jack off to was boring for him until he finally saw a tv show he had never saw before, maybe he did not saw it because of what Johnny would think of him. Never the less he and Shaundy where as high as shit so he started watching the intro. "My little pony, my little pony…" he was so fucking gross out of the show only one tough came to his mind "if only I had the technology to go in their universe and showed them that that friendship shit is sooo fucking retarded, then I would make those Princesses my slaves so they can see the true colors of life". Then his eyes widened and like if he had won the Genky Bowl, Murder Brawl and Became President and then ruler of the entire universe all at the same time jump up and down like he was on crack and finally shouted "the fuck I can!".

_A Few days before that:_

"who the fuck do you think you are Miller" Yelled Kinzie, a red hair with glasses that was wearing a lab coat at Matt a Young man in his early twenties wearing mascara in both his eyes and who allways dressed in black, "Smarter than you that's for sure Kensington", Yelled the young man. The fight went for hours till the boss decided to intervine. "Que Carajo Pasa" He said in Spanish, "in English please!" said both of them looking straight at him. The boss took a deep breath and then shouted in English "what da fuck is going on here!" he said after looking at them straight in the eye. Then both Kinzie and Matt knew they had to explain to him was goin' on. "Matt here is trying to use the time traveling portal to convert it in to a tv portal" explained Kinzie in an angry way. "A what?" the boss said in confusion. "A portal that lets you travel to a tv series universe" Matt explained. "Miller your as crazy as fuck if you think I'm going to let you turn a piece of modern alien engineering into a tv portal so you can go to that fucking gay ass night blade universe only to meet that stupid guy" she shouted at him "it's only to see if it will have any effect in the tv when we go to it, also we can use it to get scify weapons that only would exist in those universes" Said Matt. The boss was only imagining the possibilities like going to the game of thrones universe in an iron man suit and blowing the shit out of those middle age people, or going to the pokemon universe and release a zombie virus like the one in resident evil. "So what do you think boss?" asked the two of them in unison, the boss looked at Matt and said to him "Miller this is the best fucking idea you have had in years!".

_Back in the present time:_

The boss was still jumping up and down and dancing when he realized that everyone was seeing him. "Damn boss you got as high as fuck" said Shaundy a big breasted brunet woman who started laughing at him, Gat who was a man in his early 30's who wore glasses and a purple track suit Joined in and laugh his ass off and so did Pierce an African American in his late 20's who saw the whole thing from the my little pony intro to the dance the boss did. "Shut up Pierce" was the only thing that he stated as Pierce and the rest stopped laughing. Johnny who was not high any more stared at the tv and saw what the boss was watching. "Boss the fuck you watching?" Asked the crazed killer in a disgusting expression. "That, oh that is our next invading site" the boss said with a evil grin in his smile, the only smile that a evil ruler would give at an innocent planet who is light years beyond the fire power to defend itself from an entire fleet of spaceships and a legion of armies that with just an order would destroy the entire planet. The crew resumed laughing at him as they though that the boss was as high as fuck. "I'm serious" said the boss as he slammed a katana sword witch turned to be the one that he used to kill the Akuji's lider in to the tv. "Shit he realy is serious" said Pierce as he saw the whole thing. "Ya think" said Johnny at Pierce. "Boss how da fuq are we gonna do that" asked Pierce. The boss smiled as he did before while explaining the machine that Matt made. After the explanation Johnny stood up and said "Let's go kick some pony ass", "Plot" said Matt who heard the whole plan as he came out of the shadows wearing a night blade suit and holding a lightsaber in one hand and a Klingon sword in the other "The right term for a ponies ass is plot". "I guess the test was a success" said the boss cheerfully as he saw what Matt had in both his hands. "Yes and no" said Matt in a confusing tone, "You see", Matt explained "the portal works perfectly but needs time to recharge after a while and can only transport a fleet at a time" he concluded, "so when will it recharge?" The leader of the saints said in desperation, "5 hours" said matt, "Good, it will give us time to prepare".


	2. Chapter 2: You've got Rick Rolled!

Chapter 2: You've got Rick Rolled!

_Ponyville 3:30 am:_

"No please! Why are you doing this! I thought we were frie..." a yellow colored pegasus named Fluttershy cried as she got shot in her face. "Now, its only between you and me bitch!", the dark biped creature said as he aimed what looks to be a small canon to her, then the shooting sound echoed all thru the room, "AAAAAAAAHGHHHHHH" Twilight shouted as she woke up from her dream. Then a knock on the door! "Twilight are you ok!", said a voice from the other side. "I'm ok Spike" said the lavender alicorn mare. "Its like the fourth time this week!" said the baby dragon as he opened the door, "You should realy go see a Doctor" said the purple and green lizard, "Your right Spike, I'm going to make an appointment with the Canterlot doctor as soon as posible!", "Good to know!" said the dragon as he hugged her friend.

_Back at the saints spaceship headquarters:_

"Shaundy did you did the recon I asked you to do" said the leader of the saints getting ready to launch an all scale attack on the unsuspecting planet. "Yes boss and I'm very surprised of what I found theres a lot of shit about this stupid show" she said looking at a wikia site. "Good, I need weaknesses" he said since he know that every televition series character has a weakness, and like a friend of him said when you find the weakspot of your enemy you have to stab it until it bleeds to death. So she started saying each and every one of their weakness. "they all have never had any experience in combat so I sugest killing them all at once". "how do you expect us to do that!" "I know how" said Pierce, leaving everyone to turn around to see the black guy smoking a blunt, "Well will you mind telling us then, you know in this century!" the boss yelled at Pearce, "This bitches looks like they've never seen an alien before so I sugest a classic I'm a lost alien can you help me get back home only to stab you when your not looking" . "Pearce that is the stupidest idea you had ever had", "This bitches looks like they seen an alien before so I sugest a classic I'm a lost alien can you help me get back home only to stab you when your not looking" said Shaundy "That's the best idea you've ever had Shaundy I like it", said the boss patt ing her in the back. "Da fuq just happened" said Pearce Pisses. "What happened Pearce it's that Shaundy had a great idea" said Gat while preparing some surprises for the ponies on the other side. "Well you know the drill people move!" said the boss as he prepared to launch himself to the planet known as Equestria. "Boss wait" said Shaundy as she grabbed him by the arm. "What know!" said the boss as he was about to enter a fucked up ship to make it look like it had malfunction, "you do know they can read minds!" said the woman, "of course I know that that's why every time I will see a unicorn I will think of things that will make them not want to read my mind!" the boss said with a evil smile in his face. "oook then" said Shaundy with an awkward look in her face. "Good know that thats out of the way let's do this shit!"

Back in Equestria:

It was 5:45 am, the princesses where getting ready to move the sun and the moon, just when Luna was about to make the moon go down so that Celestia can make the sun go up a bad feeling came over her, you know that feeling like knowing that your being watched but intensified by a 100 times, one of the lunar guardsmen noticed the way that the princess was shivering and asked "Your Highness are you ok!", to which she replied : "yes I'm fine, I just have the most horrible feeling, a feeling that makes a mortal like you wish he was dead!", an awkward silence lasted for a minute after the comment made by the princess, then afterwards she began with the descending of the moon.

Meanwhile over the skies of Ponyvile:

"Getting ready for descent in minus 1 minute" said the machine, "Come on boss let us go with you" said Johnny Gat with an impatient look on his face. "Sorry Gat but I need you here since I need to gain there trust and I'm the only one that fits in the power armor!", said the boss while he was suiting up in the armor. "Ok all set, before you go inside the ship, do you still remember how to use this thing?" said Matt Miller, "Of course I remember Pendejo!", said the boss in an awkward tone, "Do ya really think something like this is forgettable!", "Well… uh… no… but…" Said Miller in an awkward tone, "but nothing stop waisting my time and set up the invisibility thing that Kinzie Made" said the boss. "T minus 20 seconds" said the machine as they were talking, "Ok testing invisibility", just as Matt pressed the button the power armor got invisible an so did the boss. "Nice!", said the boss as he got inside the ship, "9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, scape pod deployed", as the ship started to fell to Equestria (Ponyville to be exact) the g-forces were so great that it did not gave time for the boss to put his seatbelt so he went flying from the floor hitting his head on the ceiling. "Shit, coño, carajo" shouted the boss who was about to go out cold, "Kinzie, Matt put the fucking ship in auto pilot!", said the boss, "boss what happened the sensors indicate you've got some head trauma!", said Miller, "I hit my fucking head while I was putting on my goddam seat belt, now will you please do what I asked for!", said and almost boss "Where on it!", said Kinzie while pressing some buttons. "Hurry up dammit I don't want to become a fucking asteroid, so hurry the fuck u….", that was the last thing the boss said as it all went pitch black for him.

Back at Ponyville:

"Oh please Lyra not again with that humans are real crud!" said Bon Bon a white earth pony with blue and pink hair, "not you too Bon Bon, I tough you where my friend, and friends never make fun of other friends beliefs!" said the mint colored unicorn with tears in her eyes. Everypony that was there started laughing and making fun of her. "If humans are real then why isn't any evidence!" said one of the ponies that was making fun of her, "yeah its not like there gonna fall from the sky or any stupid thing like that!", said another female philly wearing a tiara, "Yeah as if!, If that happened I would change my name from Silver Spoon to Poopface Mcgee…" just as the glasses wearing philly finished that statement a big ball of fire fell from the sky just in the spot where Diamond Tiara's house stood. A huge booming sound echoed like 12 times more bigger than Rainbow Dash's Double Rainboom. A huge whistling sound (the one you hear when your deaf) spread through the entire planet of Equestria. The thing that Lyra saw after the explosion shocked her the most, there was a lot of ponies on the floor and a few ones trotting towards her and her friends. As she opened her eyes she saw a brow earth pony wearing a beany along with a white glasses wearing pony with a green bowtie and pouches in each side of his butt moving their lips but no sound coming from them. Then they started talking to her when she started hearing sound again , "…lestia! Are you ok!" Yelled the white aert pony. "Button help me get her and the rest of them up!" said the white stallion to the little brown philly, "Ok Gizmo but our card game is not over!" said Button to the white stallion. As everypony started to get up and get closer to the mysterious object ignoring the damage made by it they started noticing it was not a rock or anything like what they heard of before. Just then a pink earth pony started rushing to the scene she noticed something odd that looked like a button so she pressed it "OOO! What does this button do!"


	3. Chapter 3: Have We Met?

**Chapter 3: Have we met?**

"Opening hatchet", those where the words that came after Pinkie Pie pressed the button. As the door opened a half dead biped got up and aimed its cannon at the pink mare, "Ooh hello there mister robot how are you!" said the pony unknowing that what the boss was aiming at her was a weapon, "you… I fuckeng hate you!", said the boss with a groan, as he was starting to charge the weapon Gizmo quickly notice what he was about to do, he knew all too well that kind of technology(from movies, comics and even videogames), that was a weapon and in his mind there where a lot of thoughts… "What should I do!, If I attack then that thing will focus its attention to me!, and if I don't do nothing that thing will kill Pinkie Pie!, She's one of the few ponies that even talk to me!" with that thought he jumped and hit the robot from behind causing him to move right in the exact precise moment that the cannon finished charging and the boss shoot it. "What the hay are you doing to my new friend Gizmo!" as she finished that sentence a big booming sound echoed from the robot's cannon and passed ride next to Pinkie just to hit the new Ponyville castle and make a big hole in the walls (yes you heard me right walls, the blast was so powerful it braked four walls, four 10 inch crystal walls). When Pinkie and the rest of the ponies saw what the boss could do they all started running, all but Lyra who knew too well that shape, the shape of a human! From reading books that where considered science fiction and for phillys she knew too well what that thing is, so instead of running like everypony else she stayed and even started walking closer to the human. At this point the boss was completely out cold so when she reached to him with her hooves he didn't move or anything, she just started to feel his suit and found out that it had a eject user button (how convenient), she was shocked that human writing was the exact same as Equestrian writing, when she pressed the button a flash of light so much brighter than the sun came all over her. She was now seeing what looks to be a hairless monkey without a tale that instead of being naked was wearing some kind of suit under the armor, and just when she started to reach for the face a big beam of light, a light she all knew so well started glowing around her, "Do not touch the hostile!" said a lavender mare who we all know as Twilight…

Ponyvile castle half hour before incident:

"Ahh yes Your Highness I was expecting you!" said a dark blue middle aged stallion who was wearing a suit and some weird looking glasses as he bowed down in front of her, "No need for bowing down Dr…" said the princess who did not knew the male unicorn's name "Zoloft, Ritalin Zoloft" said the Dr., "what seems to be the problem?" added "Come on now no need to be hasty im a professional after all!", said the Dr., then Twilight took a big breath and started remembering "Well it all started when I went to that other dimension where humans existed…"(flashback bitchez!).

Canterlot High 2 years ago:

"I can't believe I'm missing a marathon of Daring Doo movies to see this" said Rainbow Dash to the rest of the main six "I mean they didn't even win first place!" added the rainbow haired teenage girl. "C'mon dashy you have seen those movies like a kajillion times" said a pink haired teenage girl by the name of pinkie pie, Twilight was exited, she wasn't only gonna see an award ceremony, she was gonna see an award ceremony given by the president of the United States! The leader of the free world, "I'm going to tell this to the Princess when we go back Spike" said Twilight to a sleeping puppy in her backpack, "mmmm….Rarity", said the pup while talking in his sleep, "Shhhhh! Its starting!" said the purple colored teenage girl, "Settle down students" said principal Celestia to a crowd of students and News Reporters alike, the students continued talking ignoring the principal "Now come on students settle down!" repeated the principal to the crowd, "QUIET NOW IT AN ORDER!" shouted vice principal Luna to the microphone. A big silence followed afterwards "Good! Now we shall begin!" said the vice principal while moving aside so that the principal could start talking. "As you all know the wonderbolts have won the second place at the national high school basketball tournament!" as she said that the whole school started clapping and cheering "And here to give the award it's the President of the United States!" with that the crowd started cheering and clapping, the presidential music started playing as an all common figure started to walk to the podium, "Wazzup!" said the president with red eyes which to any one that knew how a high person looked knew too well he was high as a fuckeng kite. "Glad to be here! In front of the future of America! As you all know I'm here to give the second price award to the Canterlot Wonderbolts" with that said the president started laughing and continued talking "Who got their asses handed to them by the South Park Cows! Who is a group of 8 year olds you happened to wipe the floor with a bunch of 15, 16 and 17 year olds, so yea you guys suck donkey balls!" said the president who did not knew what the fuck he was talking about, with that said the vice president walked right next to the president and said something in his ear to which he opened his eyes and said "What? A TV show you say?" the vice president kept talking in his ear "Ooh that makes sense! Then who the fuck did they lose against then!" the vice president continued to whisper in his ear, "They lost to Arecibo's Lobo's! Wait you mean to tell me that they've lost against puertoricans?" said the president in an anger tone "You all know I'm puertorican right! So why the fuck am I giving this shitty trophy to this losers when I could be in my Fuckeng Country in my fuckeng home town, eating real food not this crappy lame excuse you all call pork that does not even have flavor, I mean have you ever tried puertorican pork, it's the fuckeng best in the world!" that said the entire audience started booing the president and the reporters started recording and taking pictures. Then a Woman with red hair and glasses (who we all know as Kinzie) took over and said "Well that's enough for today the president has been busy and we all think it's best if he doesn't take any questions today so the press conference is over, thanks for understanding!" with that said the conference was over but not before what really caused an uproar happened.


	4. Chapter 4: And Thats How Equestria Was

**Chapter 4: And that's how Equestria was fucked!**

BOOM! as the president was on his way to the convoy, the presidential limo blew up to which the secret service came running to protect the president as they all formed a circle around the president but as they started making way through the crowd they all started to get shot and since they were a lot of people, they didn't knew who was shooting and who was running, the president now alert started to crouch thought the crowd as the secret service all got shot one by one without knowing that they were dying protecting a decoy. As the president got out of harm's way, he got out of the crowd he saw a guy wearing a stag outfit which was funny since one of the first things he did when he entered the white house was to disband that group, he then knew that they were responsible for the attack so without thinking he punched the guard in the crotch and took his gun shooting him in the process, meanwhile another stag agent saw what the president did and aimed his gun at him in that moment right before he got to pull the trigger his neck got snapped like a twig by a big muscular giant who we all know as Oleg, standing right next to him was the mane six group who when the shootout started where in the audience and where so frightened that they didn't move (not even Rainbow Dash was dumb enough to be a hero and get shot), when Oleg saw that those stag bastards where aiming their guns at civilians he started attacking without mercy. "Da fuq! That's cheating you assholes!" said the boss as he saw that those stag operatives where using tanks and jets to attack the guards and civilians so he did what every leader does in that situation (or rather what a 3rd street saint would do!), he joined the fight against those stag bastards, as he shot down a few jets and blew up some tanks he realized that those bastards where out numbering them so he went with plan B: retreat! "Hey Principal Trolestia! (he said to the principal who was trying to get every student to safety) Do you have any school buses that we can escape in?" he said to the principal, to which the principal answer (ignoring that the president called her a wrong name) "Yes there in the parking lot why?" asked the principal knowing that the president was planning one of his famous escape plans, "Do you think you can take your students there?" asked the president, "Well I can try!" said the principal who knew that some of the students ran away while the shooting started, "Then what the fuck are you waiting for a fucking invitation!" said the president while shooting at a stag vehicle, meanwhile back at Oleg he saw that there were some stag operatives who were coming his way, "You there freze!" said an stag agent, "Make me!" said the Russian body builder he then saw that one of the operatives threw a grenade at a group of 3 little girls. He quickly ran and grabbed the 3 girls who were paralyzed from the shock as he shielded them from the explosion Twilight remembered Apple Jack yelling and Rarity fainting as the smoke faded, they all were relieved that the 3 little girls where ok, also the big guy who saved them was ok, he only got his suit toured off showing his family jewels in the process as he got up, he grabbed a piece of debris and threw it at the stag operatives, as he turned to see if the little girls where ok, he then noticed they were trying not to look at his junk "It ok to look, the human body it a natural thing and I'm not insecure so go ahead stare!" the girls including the mane six blushed even harder to his response (the only one who stared at his genitals was vice principal Luna and the lunch lady (who we all know as Granny Smith)), when Apple Jack noticed her grandma was staring at his junk she said to her "Darnit Granny stop looking at that fellers junk! You got to give example to your youngest granddaughter!" to which Granny Smith said: "Darlin when you're as old as me, every time you have the opportunity to see a slong you've got to take it!" everybody then face palmed at the same time. At that time they all heard a horn which they all knew too well, it was the school bus! As it got closer a wounded stag soldier managed to stand up and aim it gun at Twilight she saw that and just as her life started to flash in her mind the bus road killed the bastard, then the bus stop in front of them and opened the door "Who needs a ride the fuck out of here!" said the bus driver who happened to be the president, "Students get inside the bus now it's an order" the vice principal said as she got inside the bus, she didn't had to repeat herself since everybody was inside as she said that. "Ok what know?" asked Rainbow Dash, as she noticed that all of the students that where inside where frightened and or crying "Well do any of you little kids know how to shoot a rifle?" asked the president, "No! it's not like we all were raised in a getto like you" said Rarity in an annoyed tone, right there the bus stopped and he turned around and looked at Rarity "Da fuq you said Puta!" said the president looking at Rarity and the rest of the mane six, "I'm not moving till I hear a fuckeng apology" said the president as he started to put hit feet in the school bus dash, "Come on Rarity say you're sorry to the president!" said Pinkie Pie in a anxious tone, "Please the Great and Powerful Trixie is too Great and Powerful to die!" said Trixie a light blue with white hair teenage girl to Rarity "Fine! I'm sorry Mr. President" she said to the latino driver in an annoyed tone ""Good! Throw in a date with your vice principal and you've got yourself a deal!" said the president with an evil grin in his face, "What I can't do that!" said the teenager to the greatest powerful figure in the free world "Ok then I guess we will die then!" said the boss to the teenage girl and her friends, "Ok fine I'll get you the date!" said the purple haired woman, "Good!" and with that the president turned on the bus and floored it. As they were almost out of the danger zone a road block was infront of them, "Well kids its either them or us so grab a goddam gun and start shooting!" there were only 15 guns and there where and like 45 kids. So the boss grabbed the ones that looked like the strongest ones (all the basketball players, who were like 12 Rainbow Dash, Principal Celestia and Vice Principal Luna) and he gave them instructions on how to use the guns, "…And that's how you use a gun! Any questions?" there was a rough silence. "Good! Now follow my lead!" as they were getting ready to attack they all noticed that the stag operatives. "Well! I think we arrived just in time for the party to the party!" said Rainbow Dash, as they all started to plan how to attack the boss had a great idea "I suggest we use the decoy tactic and I got the perfect voluntears!" said the boss while looking at the mane six (especially Rarity), Rarity noticing he was looking at them said: "You actually think we will do that! You must be ether still high or an Ingnorant to think we will do that!", "Congratulations you've just volunteered!" said the president "But…" Said Fluttershy and Apple Jack at the same time who were then cut off by the president, "Good to know you two wanted to join in!", "By all respect Mr. President I don't think sending 3 teenage girls to be a group of terrorist target practice is not constitutional! I mean what happened to the bill of rights and the constitution?" said Twilight Sparkle to the president (she knew about that stuff because remember she was sleeping in the school library, so yea a lot of free time!), he then looked back at her and said "Are you trying to tell me how to run my fucking country? What you think you can Rule better than me? Well I'm gonna tell you something princess: fuck you, fuck them (pointing at Rarity, and the others), and…" right as he was about to say the last thing a big booming sound and shouts where coming from the stag barricade, "'bout fuckeng time!" said the boss as he saw the military reinforcements and some group of his friends killing those stag bastards, Twilight was so in shock to have seen such an event that had forgotten about it since her return to Equestria.(End of the flashback bitchez!)

Back at the present:

"… and that's why I'm afraid of those humans!" said the princess as she felt like she lifted a big weight of her shoulders, she then noticed that Dr. Zoloft was sleep, "DR. WAKEUP!" shouted the princess as he woke up, "Wha..?" said the Dr. as he noticed he was in session and fell asleep "This is embarrassing!...ummm!...You won't tell anypony won't you?" he said in an awkward tone. "Well…" As she was about to answer a big booming sound interrupted her, she thought it was Rainbow Dash doing one of her famous double rainbooms, but then as she regained her hearing a much more stronger booming sound this time accompanied with an earthquake and a crashing sound make her noticed that it was not a double rainboom as she anticipated. When she went outside she was shocked to see that the boom was actually made by a weapon, a weapon that she all knew too well, a human weapon! She quickly rushed to the scene as she saw that Lyra was reaching to what looked to be a round metal object and just as she saw a flash of light around Lyra she quicky started a protection spell around herself and Lyra, and then yelled to the mint colored unicorn: "Do not touch the hostile!".


End file.
